When life offers you something painful to accept...

Each day has been a constant struggle of moving on when you lose someone you held so dear and wish you should have spent more time with. Naming the pain has been far easier than explaining how it feels. For sure, there must have been a good reason why people we love were taken away from us. With everything that's been goin' on with my life, I should be steadfast on my basic stance in life that nothing is permanent, there are struggles in every phase of human experience. But there is only truth that will never change: God is good. I may not have enough reason to understand but I do have enough reason to believe. Keep our lights burning wherever life may take us & in face of a storm, keep our sails ready.

Life is tough...



...but we're tougher.

To Justine, wherever you are...

Nagpapasalamat ako sa Dios kahit sa sandaling panahong ipinahiram ka niya sa amin. Minsan mahirap tanggapin kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay bagay kahit masakit tanggapin pero naniniwala akong may mabuting plano ang Dios. Mahal ka Niya kaya hindi na Niya cgro hinayaang mahirapan pa. Yung mga batang maaalagan q sa Kamp, plagi kitang maaalala sa kanila. Nararamdaman q pa rin yung mga yakap mo at kapag sinasamahan mo ako ma2log sa kwarto kapag wala akong kasama. Yung manikang binili ko para sau, iingatan ko yun... Justine, Salamat. We will see each other again, in God's perfect time. This life is not the real life after all. Palage pa din akong iiyak, mamimiss kc kita eh..I know you're in God's loving arms, a place where you cannot feel pain..

"Everything happens for a reason but we're not meant to understand the Lord's plan all the time. We just have to have faith."

Seeking Silence

The past few years of my life has been quite tedious like I've grown a year older each day with tough tasks here and there. Sometimes, I feel like I'm being smothered and it takes a great deal of optimism to be able to breathe. There are times when I felt like cutting back some part of my social life to seek for silence because that's the only time when I can feel a sense of inner peace. I've always loved solitude even if people misunderstood my silence, at least they could never misquote it. There's so much noise around. I mean, maybe it'll be better to at least meditate and just observe.

A Lesson Well Learned

It's really late and I should be doin' my homework but I learned a more important lesson that made me lose something before I could even realize it.It was the second time that my phone got snatched. I was on my way home from a seminar. I rode a jeepney and waited for other passengers to get on since I was the first one. The last one who who got on took a seat next to me. I was texting (I'm not fond of texting for chit-chat, it was purely an important matter that I had to discuss on the phone) when I sensed that something is quite peculiar with the person next to me (on my left because I was seated on the first seat). He was sort of fidgeting but since I was really engrossed with my own matter, I didn't really notice him. What's so weird about him was that he really looked at my face when all he should do was to give me my change but then I didn't really mind him. The moment we got to Maysilo circle (near the Mandaluyong Library) half of the passengers got off and he was the last one to follow them. It was so fast that I was stupefied when he grabbed my phone. Apparently, I was not able to get it back. Of course, I cried.. and cried.. like I wanted to bawl over. I talked to my brother and he said that perhaps, it's a wake up call for me - that I should have been more vigilant especially when I'm alone and not at home. Eun, I just came to realize na sometimes you learn the lessons the hard way like something has to be taken away from you before you can even sense it. Sa sobrang busy, I forget about my health and my safety. What if something bad happened to me? Will it be my 'end' ? From now on, I won't compromise my health with works and try not to be so very busy (hopefully) that I can't even manage to notice around me. Honestly, I'm not holding a grudge on that person. He was younger than I am. I hope like me, he'll learn he's lesson too. It's quite ironic in life that people are afraid of starving stomaches than losing the goodness of their souls. How pathetic.

12 down, 8 more to go. Whew!

Just 8 pages more and I'm done with Philo.Yipee! I was just wonderin' if this is burning eyebrow or literally popping eyes out of their sockets.. hmm.. *confused* I've been staying up really late for the whole week and just when I thought sleepless nights are over, I was completely wrong! Still it's better not to have sleep than not to wake at all. Ahehe! So what about the oh so laborious homework? We had to research on the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust. So here comes the History again. I've heard about the Holocaust but little do I know about it. For sweetlemoning's sake, this worked added up substantial infos. I remember when I used to watch a morning cartoon series where I heard Hitler's name for the first time. Instead of sayin' "Saludo kay Hitler, the children would say "Sa nguso ni Hitler". Now I know why they detest Hitler terribly (who doesn't?! He killed 6 million Jews, dunno if that includes physically and mentally disbled who were euthenized). Nwei, he was seen as brutal, ruhless, and apathetic madman but perhaps what happened years ago may not have only been the expression of a single individual but the expression of the state of mind of his civilization, and other countries as well. It wouldn't have happened had people were not discriminative. If only people who were at that point in time, condemning racial discriminations stood up against Jewish persecutions earlier, more lives could have been saved, more families could have been reunited. Promptness is really crucial. It was really..ghastly, I mean to think those had happened in civilized countries- how barbaric. I hope history will not repeat itself...

Okay. So much for personal sentiments. It's late.. I'm dead. x_x


^_^

As the tough gets going, the going gets tough

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away”. What can I say – I’m breathless! *laugh* Whew! I'm up to sharing but my eyes are drooping already. I'll blog everything I've been through for the past grueling days as soon as I get school stuffs done. zZz..

"Work is Love Made Visible"

I was unintentionally late for today's appointment in Rockwell. The meeting had already begun when I arrived and everybody's so serious that I didn't even get the chance to apologize. I felt a bit tensed by series of questions 'bout the project plan though I did not squirm (at least not noticeable enough hehe). The next couple of months's certainly goin' to be critical. We have to raise funds for the upcoming summer camp and we were asked to facilitate for the training days. We're also invited to join a fun run for the Autism Society but it's difficult to make a definite yes 'coz this week's sure to be loaded with a lot of stuffs. It's always in days like these that I have to summon all the strength I still have in me (hope they would still work). Nwei, I just happen to realize, when you feel really tired but still persevere to do something for a good cause, you always find the strength to do it. Yea! I'm not sure if that works for most people but for me it does. I guess its more on how much love we put to what we do that matters and focus more on what people can get out of what we do rather than we expect what we can get from them. That must be the buoyancy of enthusiasm, I suppose. hehe ^-^