overnight

Can't beliv I'll be joining my second camp with special kids this summer! Though I'm glad I had been grouped on my fave color, I'm gonna miss my former groupmates (I miss them already! ) especially our senior counselor who's very diligent and caring... The last training day before a new volunteer could attend the camp was the overnyt. I could still remember the night I smelled like a catsup (that's a part of the initiation rites) when I was a new volunteer back then. I apologize for those I had wiped off the faces with charcoals, but I ain't sorry. We enjoyed it. Ahaha! *laugh* Then, we had the bonfire wherein we took oath for our responsibilities in the camp.

I was not able to get a good night sleep and I was starving during the morning so I stopped over 7-11 to feed my starving tummy. (Well I was actually comtemplating on something I reluct to discuss-a secret I've been trying to keep.hush. hush.)

Gustatoric bliss :) gulp, gulp...

Whew! There isn't really anything new to write about- school, studies. It's always 'bout school stuffs. But if S is for school, can't it be also for Summer break?!? It's been a year since I had my most wonderful (so far) summer getaway. Though it seems dim to have another one again this year. Still keeping my fingers crossed though. Nwei, I've been thinking some plans to kill time this coming summer. I've been planning to read Twilight series, do some artworks like sketch, paint, or a scrapbook, have thorough research for the thesis. But before I can do that, I have to attend our annual summer camp for children with special needs. Though the initial plan of holding it in Palawan was changed and will be held on Pampanga instead, it didn't keep me from goin'. Most of my friends know that I've been active in the organization since I started. I actually had not thought of leaving it but there are some tough decisions I have to make. I hope I don't sound bragging but in my one year so far of volunteering, I have done all I could to fulfill all my duties. I think it's about time that I should be fair to myself. I know the sacrifices and selfless efforts are finally paying off but I cannot voluntarily give a part of me that in itself is lacking. I have already set aside the self-pity, I wanna be fair also to people who are concern about what's happening in my body. I haven't been fair to them. I'll be always believing that it's still one of the best jobs one could ever fulfill but doin' sumthing that can compromise yourself is sumthing I have thought about. I won't be gone forever. I'll be back when I'm ready. I'll be putting on some weight this summer. ^-^

I believe that though most of our struggles in life are solitary, they could never be endured without those people we lean on, people who side to us when it feels like everything's crap. We face through different trials and each of us has his own way of getting back on track. So, I decided to do this blog entry to let my friends know how grateful I am for having them around. What I've gone through's more than what people have been thinkin' of.

[+] Thanks to:

Darren, for spending hours with me. Thanks for bein' nice.

Sarah and Cindy for the all the initiative. Small things mean a lot to me.

Ehca, for the silence during those "times". It was more curing than words.

Janina & daffz, you don't know how much your visits touched us. The sympathy's deeply felt.

Nica, who never fails to cheer me up when I'm in blue. Thanks for seeing and believing the best in me.

Kuya Ysh, for the heartfelt concern when I was sick and for the flowers during my niece's funeral. You'll always be a big bro to me. Don't go changing.

Tine, who's been with me through thick and thin, when I'm up, down, and in-between, for the initiative, for cheering me up when I'm down, and for having faith on what I'm capable of doing. Glad you spent time with Justine before she passed away.

God Bless your hearts. Though we will part ways for the years to come, always know that we'll be friends by . Thank you. I will miss you.

When life offers you something painful to accept...

Each day has been a constant struggle of moving on when you lose someone you held so dear and wish you should have spent more time with. Naming the pain has been far easier than explaining how it feels. For sure, there must have been a good reason why people we love were taken away from us. With everything that's been goin' on with my life, I should be steadfast on my basic stance in life that nothing is permanent, there are struggles in every phase of human experience. But there is only truth that will never change: God is good. I may not have enough reason to understand but I do have enough reason to believe. Keep our lights burning wherever life may take us & in face of a storm, keep our sails ready.

Life is tough...



...but we're tougher.

To Justine, wherever you are...

Nagpapasalamat ako sa Dios kahit sa sandaling panahong ipinahiram ka niya sa amin. Minsan mahirap tanggapin kung bakit nangyayari ang mga bagay bagay kahit masakit tanggapin pero naniniwala akong may mabuting plano ang Dios. Mahal ka Niya kaya hindi na Niya cgro hinayaang mahirapan pa. Yung mga batang maaalagan q sa Kamp, plagi kitang maaalala sa kanila. Nararamdaman q pa rin yung mga yakap mo at kapag sinasamahan mo ako ma2log sa kwarto kapag wala akong kasama. Yung manikang binili ko para sau, iingatan ko yun... Justine, Salamat. We will see each other again, in God's perfect time. This life is not the real life after all. Palage pa din akong iiyak, mamimiss kc kita eh..I know you're in God's loving arms, a place where you cannot feel pain..

"Everything happens for a reason but we're not meant to understand the Lord's plan all the time. We just have to have faith."

Seeking Silence

The past few years of my life has been quite tedious like I've grown a year older each day with tough tasks here and there. Sometimes, I feel like I'm being smothered and it takes a great deal of optimism to be able to breathe. There are times when I felt like cutting back some part of my social life to seek for silence because that's the only time when I can feel a sense of inner peace. I've always loved solitude even if people misunderstood my silence, at least they could never misquote it. There's so much noise around. I mean, maybe it'll be better to at least meditate and just observe.

A Lesson Well Learned

It's really late and I should be doin' my homework but I learned a more important lesson that made me lose something before I could even realize it.It was the second time that my phone got snatched. I was on my way home from a seminar. I rode a jeepney and waited for other passengers to get on since I was the first one. The last one who who got on took a seat next to me. I was texting (I'm not fond of texting for chit-chat, it was purely an important matter that I had to discuss on the phone) when I sensed that something is quite peculiar with the person next to me (on my left because I was seated on the first seat). He was sort of fidgeting but since I was really engrossed with my own matter, I didn't really notice him. What's so weird about him was that he really looked at my face when all he should do was to give me my change but then I didn't really mind him. The moment we got to Maysilo circle (near the Mandaluyong Library) half of the passengers got off and he was the last one to follow them. It was so fast that I was stupefied when he grabbed my phone. Apparently, I was not able to get it back. Of course, I cried.. and cried.. like I wanted to bawl over. I talked to my brother and he said that perhaps, it's a wake up call for me - that I should have been more vigilant especially when I'm alone and not at home. Eun, I just came to realize na sometimes you learn the lessons the hard way like something has to be taken away from you before you can even sense it. Sa sobrang busy, I forget about my health and my safety. What if something bad happened to me? Will it be my 'end' ? From now on, I won't compromise my health with works and try not to be so very busy (hopefully) that I can't even manage to notice around me. Honestly, I'm not holding a grudge on that person. He was younger than I am. I hope like me, he'll learn he's lesson too. It's quite ironic in life that people are afraid of starving stomaches than losing the goodness of their souls. How pathetic.