Seeking Silence

The past few years of my life has been quite tedious like I've grown a year older each day with tough tasks here and there. Sometimes, I feel like I'm being smothered and it takes a great deal of optimism to be able to breathe. There are times when I felt like cutting back some part of my social life to seek for silence because that's the only time when I can feel a sense of inner peace. I've always loved solitude even if people misunderstood my silence, at least they could never misquote it. There's so much noise around. I mean, maybe it'll be better to at least meditate and just observe.

A Lesson Well Learned

It's really late and I should be doin' my homework but I learned a more important lesson that made me lose something before I could even realize it.It was the second time that my phone got snatched. I was on my way home from a seminar. I rode a jeepney and waited for other passengers to get on since I was the first one. The last one who who got on took a seat next to me. I was texting (I'm not fond of texting for chit-chat, it was purely an important matter that I had to discuss on the phone) when I sensed that something is quite peculiar with the person next to me (on my left because I was seated on the first seat). He was sort of fidgeting but since I was really engrossed with my own matter, I didn't really notice him. What's so weird about him was that he really looked at my face when all he should do was to give me my change but then I didn't really mind him. The moment we got to Maysilo circle (near the Mandaluyong Library) half of the passengers got off and he was the last one to follow them. It was so fast that I was stupefied when he grabbed my phone. Apparently, I was not able to get it back. Of course, I cried.. and cried.. like I wanted to bawl over. I talked to my brother and he said that perhaps, it's a wake up call for me - that I should have been more vigilant especially when I'm alone and not at home. Eun, I just came to realize na sometimes you learn the lessons the hard way like something has to be taken away from you before you can even sense it. Sa sobrang busy, I forget about my health and my safety. What if something bad happened to me? Will it be my 'end' ? From now on, I won't compromise my health with works and try not to be so very busy (hopefully) that I can't even manage to notice around me. Honestly, I'm not holding a grudge on that person. He was younger than I am. I hope like me, he'll learn he's lesson too. It's quite ironic in life that people are afraid of starving stomaches than losing the goodness of their souls. How pathetic.

12 down, 8 more to go. Whew!

Just 8 pages more and I'm done with Philo.Yipee! I was just wonderin' if this is burning eyebrow or literally popping eyes out of their sockets.. hmm.. *confused* I've been staying up really late for the whole week and just when I thought sleepless nights are over, I was completely wrong! Still it's better not to have sleep than not to wake at all. Ahehe! So what about the oh so laborious homework? We had to research on the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust. So here comes the History again. I've heard about the Holocaust but little do I know about it. For sweetlemoning's sake, this worked added up substantial infos. I remember when I used to watch a morning cartoon series where I heard Hitler's name for the first time. Instead of sayin' "Saludo kay Hitler, the children would say "Sa nguso ni Hitler". Now I know why they detest Hitler terribly (who doesn't?! He killed 6 million Jews, dunno if that includes physically and mentally disbled who were euthenized). Nwei, he was seen as brutal, ruhless, and apathetic madman but perhaps what happened years ago may not have only been the expression of a single individual but the expression of the state of mind of his civilization, and other countries as well. It wouldn't have happened had people were not discriminative. If only people who were at that point in time, condemning racial discriminations stood up against Jewish persecutions earlier, more lives could have been saved, more families could have been reunited. Promptness is really crucial. It was really..ghastly, I mean to think those had happened in civilized countries- how barbaric. I hope history will not repeat itself...

Okay. So much for personal sentiments. It's late.. I'm dead. x_x


^_^

As the tough gets going, the going gets tough

“Life is not measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away”. What can I say – I’m breathless! *laugh* Whew! I'm up to sharing but my eyes are drooping already. I'll blog everything I've been through for the past grueling days as soon as I get school stuffs done. zZz..

"Work is Love Made Visible"

I was unintentionally late for today's appointment in Rockwell. The meeting had already begun when I arrived and everybody's so serious that I didn't even get the chance to apologize. I felt a bit tensed by series of questions 'bout the project plan though I did not squirm (at least not noticeable enough hehe). The next couple of months's certainly goin' to be critical. We have to raise funds for the upcoming summer camp and we were asked to facilitate for the training days. We're also invited to join a fun run for the Autism Society but it's difficult to make a definite yes 'coz this week's sure to be loaded with a lot of stuffs. It's always in days like these that I have to summon all the strength I still have in me (hope they would still work). Nwei, I just happen to realize, when you feel really tired but still persevere to do something for a good cause, you always find the strength to do it. Yea! I'm not sure if that works for most people but for me it does. I guess its more on how much love we put to what we do that matters and focus more on what people can get out of what we do rather than we expect what we can get from them. That must be the buoyancy of enthusiasm, I suppose. hehe ^-^

I feel like in state of turmoil caused by avalanche of school stuffs I now dread and feel weary just by the thought of tasks lying ahead.

flashback

I was far from believing that I can make a kind of life that I’ve always anticipated but now that realization has stricken me, guess I should be up for it. Glancing back at my 2008 calendar inspired me of a very wonderful year that was, to gear forward and hope for the best things to come. Allow me to flashback on the memories that will remain in the scar tissues of my mind. I joined my first summer camp with special children. No amount of verbosity can ever exactly express how it felt like. It’s like you wake up one morning and you realize that they were there. They’re created for some special sort of purpose and that purpose is what your life can be all about. It’s a very uplifting feeling to make a difference in this world while we still have time. God’s grace has been just to me. He made my summer vacation a wonderful experience. It had been the second time that we were gathered as a complete family when my eldest sister came home to visit. It felt very nostalgic when she hugged me back then. She hasn’t been physically there while I’m growing up but her support is always felt even across the miles. I still do miss her. I hope I can personally thank her for the things she’s done for our family. If she hadn’t been my sister, I’d still pretend she is. It was also the first time that I got to join in a Gift Giving. I was never too strong to be faced with the sad realities of life. I may have a lot for Christmas but some people were faced with the uncertainty of what to have for tomorrow. Still, I do believe that life has never been unfair though. That wasn’t a fine truth to look at but that’s the real thing. Well, the previous year has left me with a lot of stories to tell and with the coming of the year, I hope to have a lot more. If there is one important lesson I’ve learned from the previous year, it’s this: A life of living service is a life worth living for.